Akatsuki Kids
by Chicken Mash
Summary: The Akatsuki aim to secure biju and move their plan of world domination forward! However, now it seems there are some little ones along for ride... How will the evil organization carry out their bidding with little kids to look after?


"Ahhh! Help! Help me!" giggled the princess as she sat helplessly under a table. She was very beautiful, with little blonde pig tails and blue eyes with a pretty purple dress over her regular cloths.

"Muwhahaha! I'm gonna to keep ya here and eat ya!" The villain threatened. His hair and eyes were a deep blue. He wore a black robe over his regular cloths and wouldn't give up the princess without a fight. "Ahhh! No, no don't eat me!" She giggled again.

Suddenly the stomping of a 2 legged horse could be heard coming from the other side of the room. It was the prince and his noble steed! "Eeheeheeheehee!" Whinnied the footie pajama horse, as the prince ran up from behind her. "Don't worry princess! I'll save you!" He struck a pose, holding his round, cardboard sword high in the air. He was sharkin, meaning he had blue skin, shark teeth and gills. His dark blue hair stood up and had yet another shade of blue in his eyes.

"Nuh uh I'm gonna eat her!" Yelled the villain as he attacked the prince. They began to wrestle when he grabbed the paper towel rod. "No! You can't touch that it's a sword!" The prince said in protest. "I have the power to not be cut by swords." The villain claimed.

"You can't do that!"

"Yeah huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yeah huh!"

"Nuh _uh!_"

The boys began wrestling again as the girls sat next to each other under the table. "Ikura, how about the princess escapes on the horse while they fight?" The princess suggested to the horse who, bored as she was, agreed. They ran out of the play room and down the long hall way, giggling. However, all the fun and laughter stopped when they turned a corner to see Kisame coming toward them. Ikura gasped in fear "Kin! What should we do?" The 6 year old almost started trembling in her light brown footie pajamas with little ears and some strands of yarn for the main and tail. "Let's run back the other way!" The girls hurried back the way they came when they heard the voice of the shark man "where you going girls?" He laughed, they screamed. "Daddy!" Ikura yelled. Kisame was a violent man, he didn't take pity on even little kids, especially not his own. "Kisame!" He called "Kisame Jr.! Get over here son it's time for training!"

The prince abandoned the other boy and hid in a toy box. Skyler stood there, trying to look innocent. Even at 7, he wasn't one to run away. Kisame poked his head into the room "where's Jr.?" Skyler just stood there, tearing apart the card board tube, he shrugged quietly. "Don't play dumb, I know there aren't many other places he could be besides here!" Kisame demanded. "Well ya don't see him in here now do ya? Ya big ugly motherfucker." The little boy didn't seem to worried about the fact that Kisame could probably kill him with one finger. The shark man became outraged. "Listen you little bastard! Tell me where Jr. is or I'll-!" "You'll what?" A voice from behind cut him off. Kisame turned around "You need to teach that kid some manners, Hidan!" He said angrily. "Well he's right, you are a big ugly motherfucker!" He laughed and his son laughed with him. "Come on Skyler, I've made pb and j for lunch." The boy jumped up and ran out of the room to his father "Oh boy!"

Kisame scoffed. You shouldn't be nice to your children! That would make them weak! You had to be hard on them if they were going to grow up and be strong. After all, they represent you, a weak kid would be a disgrace and an embarrassment! "Jr., get out here, now!" His voice was threatening. The 8 year old knew that his father considered hiding cowardly, and that if he were discovered the punishment would be horrendous. It was to late now, he hid in the toy box where the costumes were kept, hoping hiding under the cloths would help. Kisame started tearing apart the room when yet another voice interrupted him.

"What are you doing?" Deidara and Itachi were standing in the door way, their frightened daughters peeking out from behind them. "I asked you a question." Deidara demanded. "I was just looking for Jr., what business is it of yours?" Kisame hated both of them, he couldn't toughen up his son properly when they were around. "I need you to go over the rout for our next mission." Itachi said, knowing Kisame had no excuse to refuse. "Fine" he grumbled as he left the room. Kintaku ran out from behind her father. "Jr.! He's gone." The lid the shark boy's hiding place opened as he looked out nervously, seeing Kisame really wasn't there he came out. "Hey Jr., how about we go hang out with you and your mom for a while?" Deidara asked. Jr.'s mother Shelly was kidnapped by Kisame a few years ago. She and him couldn't go anywhere because the ruthless thug would just hunt them down. Luckily, the rest of the Akatsuki didn't share Kisame's view on child rearing and kept them safe from his wrath. Jr. nodded came with them to he and Shelly's room.

"Hello Shelly, I hope you're doing well." Itachi said pleasantly. The kids went into another part of the room to play while the adults sat around and talked. "Oh hello boys! I was just working on my novel. I'm well thank you!" She shark women smiled. Luckily her son took after her in looks, with a normal face and not… whatever was wrong with Kisame, with his ugly eyes and ugly ugliness. But, he did take after him in size, being much taller than other boys his age. Ikura also pretty much took after her mother. She was very small in size and except for her black hair and eyes looked almost nothing like Itachi. Kintaku on the other hand was the spitting image of her father. Thick yellow hair, blues eyes, and a mouth on each hand and 1 on her chest. Not to mention her love of art.

Skyler was a pretty even mix of both. He looked a lot like Hidan except the hair and eyes. He made up for it with personality though… loving every second when he felt any sort of pain. Speaking of Pain, he and Konan had gotten married. They had a picture perfect family with a son named Kai (7) who looked like his father, and a daughter Hideko (4) who look like their mother. Kakuzu had a kid even in his old age. Kazu was a girl of 5 who had tan skin, emerald green eyes and brown hair.

The cylinder on his chest wasn't Sasori's only organic part, he had a 7 year old son named Jacque who had the families trademark red hair. Sasuke was also in the Akatsuki, he had an 8 year old son named Shou whom the Uchiha blood ran strongly in. Flora, a green skinned girl with short, wavy black hair and vines, was Zetsu's daughter. She had been born when Zetsu took it upon himself to fertilize a flower garden. You could say she was a true cabbage patch kid! Orochimaru was a former member, but he had an 8 year old son named David who had his fathers black hair and yellow snake eyes, but thankfully normal skin. He also happened to be Kintaku's half brother.

All the Akatsuki had kids now, and it slowed them down somewhat on their plans. They still hadn't secured very many biju, and the world continued to be the way it was. Pain was still determined to change it however, even though his little 4 year old was quite the hand full…

"How are you guys doing?" Shelly asked. "I'm fine, a little... irritated with Cynthia at the moment." Deidara replied. "Why, what did you do this time?" Itachi laughed when She said that. "What's that suppose to mean? And what are you laughing at?" Shelly started laughing too after Deidara said that, he always had the funniest reactions! "Hahahaha I'm sorry…" Shelly said "why are you irritated with your wife?" "Well, she wants to move out of the Akatsuki layer, but she doesn't understand that this is the only home we have. She's from a rich family, so she's used to up scale living or something. But, I can't even afford an apartment…"

"Ah, this argument again." Itachi said "We certainly don't get paid very much." "Exactly! I don't know what her problem is!" Deidara crossed his arms. "Try not to be to hard on her..." Shelly said "I hate it here too… I'd do anything to get out of here…"

Unfortunately, someone couldn't be around Shelly and Jr. all the time, that's when Kisame would make his move… 'toughening' up his son and putting the 'female' in her 'place'. It was truly despicable…

It was hours later when Itachi fell back in exhaustion onto a chair. "Come on daddy, chase me!" Ikura giggled. It was nearing bed time and the plan had been to tire her out… but it seems it had backfired. "Huff, huff, Iku…" Itachi felt like he could barely move anymore. "Come on daddy you can't be tired already! I don't wanna go to bed chase me!" She giggled and ran out of his room and down the hall way, hoping for more play. But Itachi just sat there, breathing heavily wishing for nothing more than to be in bed, and for her to be in bed. Ikura ran right passed Deidara who happened to be passing by. When he got to Itachi's room, he peeked inside. "Jeez, what happened to you?" He asked. "Ikura is…huff… energetic.. x.x" He was finally starting to catch his breath. Deidara smiled "you tried the old 'tire out the kid by chasing them around' trick didn't you? Hahahaha that never works! Even if you are a ninja XD" He laughed, Itachi sighed tiredly. "Well hey, if you look exhausted and I know you've had a long day anyway so, I could put her to bed tonight if you want." Itachi perked up at the prospect of not having to stay up another hour going through the bedtime routine. "Oh would you? Thank you thank you so much!" He ninjaed over to his bed, plopped down and immediately started snoring. "Jeez, he WAS tired!" Deidara turned back the way he came "Ikura! Come here Ikura!"

Instead of making plans, sharpening weapons, perfecting skills, or even sitting back like the old says everyone was going through the nightly bedtime routine that, sometimes wasn't all that routine… Skyler screamed and carried on as Hidan flung him over his shoulder, having caught him from escaping for the hundredth time this hour. Hidan may have ingrained some of his personality into the boy but now Hidan was thinking that wasn't such a good thing… he remembered doing this same thing to his mother at Skyler's age.

Cynthia was getting the bath ready while her daughter undressed. Kintaku loved to take baths! Especially with her Barbie dolls. Deidara appeared in the door way holding little Iku. "Knock, knock" He said "mind taking another? Itachi has fallen asleep." He laughed. "Sure, no problem," Cynthia said. "All right Kin, Iku, it's ready!" She stood up. "Yay!" Kintaku jumped in, almost soaking everything. "Kintaku be careful you got me wet!" Cynthia wrenched out some of her pale blonde hair, her light blue eyes looking down upon the girl with disapproval. However Kintaku didn't seem to take much notice. "Sorry mommy. Come on in Ikura the water's great!" It didn't take long for Iku to strip down and get more water all over the room. They giggled and played while Cynthia sighed… why had she agreed to take on another little girl again? "Oh! Deidara, you need to put David to bed, he's watching tv and hasn't even brushed his teeth yet." She knelt down by the tube, a very dangerous thing to do as the kids splashed. "Sure thing" Deidara left to go get David.

Yes, things in the Akatsuki had never been the same since people started having kids. Their priorities had somewhat shifted… kids first, making lots of money and securing the biju to gain power to conquer countries and have the world under their control for ultimate peace… second.


End file.
